I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
