I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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