Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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