No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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