So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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