Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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