He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
