dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
