Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize