who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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