it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
