pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
