My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
