I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
