Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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