do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
