Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
