the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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