She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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