I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
