one two three fourrrrnication!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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