I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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