Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
