I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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