This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
