I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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