Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just blew my weed a kiss
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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