God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
