just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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