yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
