I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
