he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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