her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
