no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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