So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
