Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
