maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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