my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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