You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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