btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We are two peas in an std pod
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
