I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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