I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
