puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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