The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
