so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
