Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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