I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we're so committed to being not committed
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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