these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
There was a lot of him and a little penis
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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