If that was your dad, he is hot
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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