Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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