your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
