How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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