Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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