Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Gay?
German.
Pity.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
