I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
