Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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