"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
