WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize