Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We smell like vodka and hangover
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
