But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he's gonorrhea incarnate
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
