ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
