I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Green mimosas i think yes
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
