just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
