I think im going to throw up on grandma
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
