Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
