Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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