I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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