Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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