The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
