So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just high enough for therapy.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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