But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize