Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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