You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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