I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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