Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
