If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
