i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
