You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
