i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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